A short clip uploaded by the Singapore Police Force yesterday depicts the eldritch horror that ensues when one undertakes the whimsical hobby of shoplifting.
Bear witness to the ancient rituals of summoning the deity of unspeakable name known only (in hushed, revered tones) as Yandao Policeman.
As the young sacrificial lamb goes about in his daily strolls in various establishments dipping his hand in this ‘shoplifting’ trend he’s heard about, druids of different shapes of sizes note his Criminal Demeanour and mercilessly subject him to an ancient hand gesture (five fingers of initiative stretching outward, palms of damnation open), a symbol of their razor-sharp vigilance and their fidelity to The Law.
And as surely as the stars align every 12 years to greet Capra Aegagrus, their ceremonial hand gestures summons Yandao Policeman into a mortal vessel as he materializes in flesh to collect his unwilling prey.
The malefactor hangs his head in trepidation as he gives himself in to the firm, but just deity. As required in the ancestral verses, all those in the presence of Blue Celestials must commit themselves to the ceremonial dance to affirm their staunch belief in The Law, and a fitting conclusion to yet another successful sacrifice.
Long may you reign, Yandao Policeman.
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