Oh God, Why: Durian gets a sexy upgrade with durian-flavoured condoms

To quote Jurassic Park’s Dr. Ian Malcolm (all hail The Goldblum): “…scientists were so preoccupied with whether or not they could that they didn’t stop to think if they should.”

They really should have pumped the brakes on this idea in the boardroom and let this proposal go extinct. Not even Jessica Chastain can defend this. 

Singapore’s national fruit is getting a pointlessly sexy upgrade: Durian-flavored condoms. Safe sex and the world’s most infamously vile-smelling fruit finally comes together! 

Pictured; the last thing on your mind during sexytime. Photo: Kazue Asano / Flickr

According to the China Press, an as-yet-unnamed Bangkok condom manufacturer is set to introduce the durian-flavored condom soon. They expressed the genuine hope that the product will appeal to the Asian market, sincerely believing that it’ll be a hit. 

Currently producing two billion condoms annually, the company is soon opening a new facility that will allow them to produce 5 billion of the latex happy sleeves each year. No word on what percentage of those will be durian.

The Bangkok company however is hardly the first to ever produce durian condoms. DKT Indonesia — the country’s leading condom distributor — have been selling durian-flavoured Sutra Fiesta condoms since 2003. 

“The problem with condoms in Indonesia is people here are really shy about them, so when you have a durian condom it’s something funny and we can get people to talk about them with their friends and their family because it’s no longer just about sex,” said DKT Indonesia director Christopher Purdy in a Deutsche Presse-Agentur report. Yeah dude, condoms are totally something that we freely talk about with our family. 

In a way, it does help in its purpose as a contraceptive because honestly, it’ll help you NOT get laid once your partner gets a whiff of your durian-flavoured dong. 

If you’re somehow feeling like some of it’s custard-y, sour-sweet flesh suddenly, here’s our guide on some of the best durian desserts you can find around Singapore. 

 

With text by Coconuts Bangkok



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